Let’s start simply with the base definition of Mindfuckery; That which destabilizes or confuses the mind. Another more commonly used term would be mind games. In vanilla relationships playing mind games are considered abusive. If that is going on in your relationship, you will want to leave that situation immediately. In BDSM relationships, Mindfuckery is shared and used often with D/s partnerships. Using this technique can enable the submissive to yearn for her dominant. D/s relationships create a unique connection wherein giving permission and trust; the submissive is giving her dominant control over their mind in this manner.

As the title states, this behavior is not for the weak. Be sure not to lose track of yourself. Here are a few thoughts to keep in mind:

1) Always remember that you are the one who has given your dominant permission to treat you in this manner.

2) If you find yourself not being able to communicate fully with your dominant, you have possibly entered into the codependent territory.

3) Make sure you are getting out of the exchange that you desire.

Anyone that has been living the lifestyle for a while has encountered people whose intentions are not pure; in other words, they are simply assholes. When mind games are afoot, this is not very easy to recognize. It is essential to be very clear with your dominant what is okay and what is not okay. As an example, I don’t particularly appreciate denigration. I make this clear and do not stand for the crossed boundary. Here are some tips to help you along:

1) Create a list of what you enjoy out of Mindfucking. Share this with your dominant. If it is not on the list, that means it is not okay with you.

2) Share with your dominant the particular feeling you are seeking, give examples. Remember, communication is the key to any relationship.

3)The moment you feel disrespected, say something.

Being submissive does not mean you are weak, know what you want, and be able to ask for it. Having Mindfuckery part of your relationship can be just what you are needing. If you are looking for more information on the art of Mindfuckery check out this great article https://www.fetish.com/magazine/bdsm/mindfuck-perfect-gift/