For any polyamorous relationship to be healthy and sustainable, it needs to be set up in a way that supports all participants. Making sure everyone’s needs are met can be very challenging. There are many factors to consider. Choosing polyamory will open the door to personal empowerment, expression, self-care, and connection with others. This is where working with a poly-professional using a polyamory relationship counseling approach can help.

What qualifications should I be looking for in a poly relationship coach?

(1) They should be a certified relationship coach.
(2) Having established experience with Polyamorous relationships.
(3) It is a bonus if they have an understanding of the group dynamic.

It is important to find the right fit. There are a lot of coaches out there that meet these qualifications (I am one of them). Experience is not enough. Find a coach that offers a free initial session. This way you can meet with them and see if they are a good match, without having to spend a dime.

How to know if the poly coach is the right fit?

(1) Do I feel that they understood us?
(2) Did they listen and comment?
(3) Do they mesh well with our personalities?
(4) After the free session, do you feel hopeful?
(5) Do we feel confident with trusting and respecting them?

Over the years, I have conducted super spy research. I posed as a client with various coaches.

Beware of the following:

• Do you feel that this person has their own agenda?
• Oftentimes coaches/counselors have programs or are developing them. They will use clients as their test subjects. This can get in the way of feeling heard and that the coach is holding your best interest. It interferes with truly getting your needs met.
• Do you feel immediately pushed?
  We all have our own time frame. A qualified coach will be able to pick up on your pace and modify to your needs.
• Do you feel like they are listening to you?
  Coaching is about listening and asking powerful questions. Communication is at the cornerstone of relationship coaching. Once you share what has brought you to receive help and have expressed relationship goals, pay attention. Are they asking questions or telling you what to do? Are they bringing in positive exercises and homework or doing the work for you?

I hope this helps with your decision-making.

Have you had a great or not so great experience with a coach or a counselor? Share below!